I know right. Learning when to say no & disengaging has served me so much in life. I also believe in working with energies so if I sense negative vibes, I try to step back as soon as I can.
Thank you for this! As I read through this article I noticed all the signs of stress and disregulation I felt during my last corporate role. My body was yelling at me to listen but I thought I could use my logical mind to arrive in a better place. I was wrong!
I recently got screamed at by my boss for no fault of mine. In retrospect I should have disengaged when it started happening. But we live, we learn. I feel so stuck right now, but I'm using this as fuel to power through & go full force on my own. Taking inspiration from you about building a portfolio career. So, THANK YOU! :)
Thanks for reading & sharing your experience with me. It means a lot.
It is so hard in the moment to know what the ‘right’ thing is to do. Your response was right for your safety in that moment. You should be proud of yourself for making moves and stepping into alignment like you are right now. That is amazing X
Wow, Ishita, this is such a wholesome overview of the mechanisms and signs of when it might be time to step out! I knew already about my physical sensations, but the cognitive ones (especially tunnel vision) were quite eye-opening to me!
Hi Fabienne, I agree. The mental signs required to tap out of conversations can be so subliminal, we can easily miss out. The key is to be present, mindful and put yourself first. Something I’ve been learning to do myself. :)
I am getting better at spotting all these signs (not necessarily always to exit the conversation but also to overcome some people pleasing tendencies. So this us just great!
Haha, didn’t think too much about it. Busy packing moving boxes. The only thing was the nickname e my dad has for me as a small girl: „Mücke“ - which is German for „mosquito“ 🦟. I mean, they are annoying…but he always meant it in a lovinn no g way like his little mosquito always being around him. And I mean: they are stubborn, evolutionary resilient. Could be a good nickname 🤣
Your words have come at exactly the right time Ishita, as I deal with a situation involving an emotional vampire of my own. She is a needy elderly lady (one of many actually☺️), who doesn’t act on the advice or help herself preferring to be a victim and elicit sympathy from others. You would think (I would think…) I need to just allow her to download and be kind and understanding (over and over again), but it’s not as simple as that is it? There is an underlying personal truth and authenticity of self that cannot be ignored. The art of caring with boundaries is a skill I continue to develop. Some people are just hard work. Because they are my clients, I don’t have the luxury of cutting them out of my life.
Your article gave me a bit of clarity and validation that it’s not my stuff it’s her stuff. I can step back emotionally and not be triggered by her behaviour and still hold space for her. Thank you once again for sharing with heart. 💛Xx
I used to be an adult social care support worker in the community until a year ago, working with 18+, but generally they were mostly elderly clients.
The company I worked for had a county contract to serve clients for six weeks on a rehabilitation basis, so we usually didn’t visit them long term, and there were definite boundaries in place to protect us and each client. Most clients were lovely; only a very few were unpleasant or difficult, in all the years that I have worked.
I imagine attending a client on a long term basis, for example, in your situation, must be very challenging, which can in turn affect a carers viewpoint, sanity and work standards.
It was nice to read your response to Ishita’s article, knowing that you will rise above the situation, keeping the relationship professional, upholding standards and required non- attachment.
I’m not a personal carer now, but still work with seniors’ in a static human environment, which I love, but at a less frenzied pace than out on the road.
I salute the work of carers. It’s not an easy job!
I literally came across your article just a few hours after having had an impromptu public conversation online, leading me to report and block a demeaning human being.
Previously, I had written a supportive comment on a fellow artist’s post, on another social media site. Then this other person shows up in my notification feed making a derogatory comment which I followed up questioning whether they were an artist, to see what they were about. The conversation became unhealthy and unpleasant and I backed out quietly.
Unfortunately, this person was just amusing himself and ended up being quite vile.
Fortunately, I did hold back in posting what I really wanted to retaliate with, because I didn’t want to lower my standards, lose my self respect or from that from others.
I think I was right to quietly challenge his mocking behaviour, but it became a personal attack, which was when I decided not to amuse his pea brain any further.
On reflection, would I again challenge someone’s comment(s)? … quite possibly.
However, having now experienced a personal attack online, I might just use the occasion to write an unsent response in poetry… I’ve found that feeling incensed and or hurt are rewarding times to write from the heart and mind.
So in response to your article; I think if ever there’s a next time, I won’t respond to a provoking individual… I’ll just block them immediately, and prevent a ripple effect.
I anticipate I will return back to this article as my workload increases.
More work, more conversations, more opportunities to peace out at the right (or wrong) time.
I know right. Learning when to say no & disengaging has served me so much in life. I also believe in working with energies so if I sense negative vibes, I try to step back as soon as I can.
Thank you for this! As I read through this article I noticed all the signs of stress and disregulation I felt during my last corporate role. My body was yelling at me to listen but I thought I could use my logical mind to arrive in a better place. I was wrong!
I recently got screamed at by my boss for no fault of mine. In retrospect I should have disengaged when it started happening. But we live, we learn. I feel so stuck right now, but I'm using this as fuel to power through & go full force on my own. Taking inspiration from you about building a portfolio career. So, THANK YOU! :)
Thanks for reading & sharing your experience with me. It means a lot.
It is so hard in the moment to know what the ‘right’ thing is to do. Your response was right for your safety in that moment. You should be proud of yourself for making moves and stepping into alignment like you are right now. That is amazing X
Wow, Ishita, this is such a wholesome overview of the mechanisms and signs of when it might be time to step out! I knew already about my physical sensations, but the cognitive ones (especially tunnel vision) were quite eye-opening to me!
Hi Fabienne, I agree. The mental signs required to tap out of conversations can be so subliminal, we can easily miss out. The key is to be present, mindful and put yourself first. Something I’ve been learning to do myself. :)
How’s your nick-naming coming along?
I am getting better at spotting all these signs (not necessarily always to exit the conversation but also to overcome some people pleasing tendencies. So this us just great!
Haha, didn’t think too much about it. Busy packing moving boxes. The only thing was the nickname e my dad has for me as a small girl: „Mücke“ - which is German for „mosquito“ 🦟. I mean, they are annoying…but he always meant it in a lovinn no g way like his little mosquito always being around him. And I mean: they are stubborn, evolutionary resilient. Could be a good nickname 🤣
Great piece 🌿
Thank you so much, Richa. Glad you liked it :)
Your words have come at exactly the right time Ishita, as I deal with a situation involving an emotional vampire of my own. She is a needy elderly lady (one of many actually☺️), who doesn’t act on the advice or help herself preferring to be a victim and elicit sympathy from others. You would think (I would think…) I need to just allow her to download and be kind and understanding (over and over again), but it’s not as simple as that is it? There is an underlying personal truth and authenticity of self that cannot be ignored. The art of caring with boundaries is a skill I continue to develop. Some people are just hard work. Because they are my clients, I don’t have the luxury of cutting them out of my life.
Your article gave me a bit of clarity and validation that it’s not my stuff it’s her stuff. I can step back emotionally and not be triggered by her behaviour and still hold space for her. Thank you once again for sharing with heart. 💛Xx
Hi Jen😊
I used to be an adult social care support worker in the community until a year ago, working with 18+, but generally they were mostly elderly clients.
The company I worked for had a county contract to serve clients for six weeks on a rehabilitation basis, so we usually didn’t visit them long term, and there were definite boundaries in place to protect us and each client. Most clients were lovely; only a very few were unpleasant or difficult, in all the years that I have worked.
I imagine attending a client on a long term basis, for example, in your situation, must be very challenging, which can in turn affect a carers viewpoint, sanity and work standards.
It was nice to read your response to Ishita’s article, knowing that you will rise above the situation, keeping the relationship professional, upholding standards and required non- attachment.
I’m not a personal carer now, but still work with seniors’ in a static human environment, which I love, but at a less frenzied pace than out on the road.
I salute the work of carers. It’s not an easy job!
Well done, Jen😊X
Hi Ishita😊
I literally came across your article just a few hours after having had an impromptu public conversation online, leading me to report and block a demeaning human being.
Previously, I had written a supportive comment on a fellow artist’s post, on another social media site. Then this other person shows up in my notification feed making a derogatory comment which I followed up questioning whether they were an artist, to see what they were about. The conversation became unhealthy and unpleasant and I backed out quietly.
Unfortunately, this person was just amusing himself and ended up being quite vile.
Fortunately, I did hold back in posting what I really wanted to retaliate with, because I didn’t want to lower my standards, lose my self respect or from that from others.
I think I was right to quietly challenge his mocking behaviour, but it became a personal attack, which was when I decided not to amuse his pea brain any further.
On reflection, would I again challenge someone’s comment(s)? … quite possibly.
However, having now experienced a personal attack online, I might just use the occasion to write an unsent response in poetry… I’ve found that feeling incensed and or hurt are rewarding times to write from the heart and mind.
So in response to your article; I think if ever there’s a next time, I won’t respond to a provoking individual… I’ll just block them immediately, and prevent a ripple effect.
Thank you😊