Figure out what you actually want (and how to get it)

Stop shooting in the dark

Hello to my 150+ new subscribers over the last 3 days! My heart is doing cartwheels.
And I think this is a good time to re-introduce myself for everyone who’s new here.

• I am Ishita, marketing head by day, artist by night.

• My writing reimagines work, life & purpose through the lens of coaching science & personal experiments to see if I (and you) can conquer fate!

• When not working on my next big idea, I'm diving, trekking or working out.

• I'm also a certified permaculturist, a certified performance coach & a mycophile! :)

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Sciency ‘stuff’ I learned & how

I recently completed my Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) certification to learn more about the role of thoughts, behaviors & language in our actions and add a new skill to my repertoire as a performance coach.

I learned new sciency stuff that gave me a window into my own mind and I wanted to share my learnings, so you can also apply these gems and step into your own power.

This info cannot be gatekept and is free for all to consume, so please share this post further if you find value in it. It’ll mean a lot to me :)

Am I Sisyphus? Are we all Sisyphus?

After the course, I came to a brutal realisation that ALL my goals (apart from the ones in my day job) have been so open ended and utterly, poorly defined. I never gave myself a solid chance to achieve them.

While I tend to be self-critical, hindsight being 20/20 reveals why achieving some of my goals in the recent years has been an uphill battle. Like Sisyphus, I'd been trapped in a vicious cycle.

Sisyphus trying to conquer his fate. I used to be Sisyphus.

Sisyphus, the OG of futile tasks, is basically living the eternal 'almost there' moment. The gods of the underworld condemned him to rolling stones forever - each time you approach the target, the stone rolls down from the hill. And his outcome is a forever effort, never truly reaching his goal.

You might be living your own Sisyphus story if you:

• Feel trapped in an endless spiral, unable to break free

• Constantly see your ‘goal post’ shifting just as you approach it

• Struggle to articulate what success looks like for your goals

The Root of the Problem: Poorly Defined Outcomes

If these scenarios resonate with you, chances are your goals—or "outcomes"—are not well-defined. Without clear parameters, you're left unable to pinpoint where, when, how, or why your target shifts.

This ambiguity leaves you feeling like Sisyphus: caught in a rut, perpetually playing catch-up, never truly reaching your destination. I’ve been there many times!

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The power of well defined outcomes

Think of this as an exercise in chaos reduction and to understand where you’ve been missing the mark all this while. Grab a pen and paper if you are serious about your goals. 2024 has just 114 days left.

Outcomes/goals play an essential role in who you are going to be in the near future. If you form your goals based on well-formed outcome criterias, remember - there is more probability of their realization. Let’s look at some of the criterias.

Well-Defined Outcome Criterias:

1. State the goal in Positive.

• Describe your outcome in positive terms.

• It has to be towards what you want rather than what you don't want.

• E.g., “I don’t want to be overweight" or "I don't want to be unfit anymore." is an outcome that is "away from" or stated in negative.
  The same outcome can be stated as, "I want to be fit by x time-period" or "I want to have a fit and energetic body."
  Pro tip: Define exactly what being fit means to you.

2. Specify your outcomes/goals in sensory-based terms.

• Describe what you will see, hear, feel when you have it.

• Engage all of your senses (Visual, Auditory, Touch, Gustatory, and Olfactory) in this description process to make it richer.

3. Specify the goal in a way that you find compelling.

• Is the goal compelling? Does it pull you towards achieving it?

• Make it a compelling future representation.

• When you think about your goal, make sure that you see, hear, feel yourself having obtained your goal.

• Have you broken down your goal into small chunks so that each is doable, and measurable?

• What are the sizes of these actionable chunks? Are these chunks manageable? Do they motivate you or drive you?

  

  French Aerialist Philippe Petit Tightrope Walking Across Twin Towers, 1974

4. Ecology Check

(This step is more like a quality control check on your goal, to make sure it is suited to all areas of your life)

• Is the goal right for you in all the circumstances of your life?

• Is your goal appropriate in all your personal relationships?

• What will happen if you get this goal/outcome?

• What won't happen if you get this goal/outcome?

• What will happen if you won't get this goal/outcome?

• What won't happen if you won't get this goal/outcome?

• Is there any impact on your health, finances, relationships, etc. if you pursue this goal/outcome?

Run a quality check to make sure that your goal fits every part of who you are as a person.

Ask, "Is there any part of me that objects to getting this desired outcome/goal?"

If so, acknowledge that, and see how you may want to address those frames of mind and make sure that the outcome satisfies who you are as a person.

5. Self-initiated and maintained.

• Is the goal something that you can initiate yourself and maintain?

• Is it within your control?

• Test your goal by asking if it is something that you have within your power or ability to do. It must not be something dependent on other people.

• Make sure that your goal reflects things that you can directly affect.

6. State the context of the goal.

• When, where, and with whom do you want to realize this outcome?

• Is the goal appropriately contextualized?

• Readjust your goal to make sure that it fits.

• Vague goal without context: "I want to learn a new language."

• Goal with clear context, broken down:

  “I will achieve fluency in Spanish by practicing for 30 minutes daily during my morning commute,
  attending a weekly language exchange at the local library on Thursday evenings,

  and spending two weeks immersed in a Spanish-speaking country during my summer vacation.
  My aim is to confidently hold a 10-minute conversation with a native speaker about everyday topics by December 31st of this year.”

7. State the resources needed to achieve the goal.

• What resources (internal and external) will you need to achieve this goal?

• Who else has achieved this goal?

• Have you ever had or done this before?

• Do you know anyone who has?

• What prevents you from moving towards it and attaining it now?

• Internal Resources: Confidence, motivation, positive state, desire, etc.

• External Resources: Help from mentors, finances, training, etc.

8. Evidence Procedure.

• How will you know that your outcome/goal is realized?

• What will let you know that you have attained that desired state?

By now, I hope you’ve got many questions in your quiver to help you formulate well-defined outcomes!

By Cristina Gottardi

We have a superpower - the power to imagine!

Here’s a fun exercise I developed for myself that you might also like journaling about:

1. Imagine you've achieved your goal in 2027

2. What does your world look like right now? Engage all senses

3. What did the past 3 years look like - what happened? Be descriptive

4. What was your role in it?

By engaging in these exercises and properly defining my outcomes, I've gained a profound understanding of how narrow my thinking was.

Now, it finally feels like I'm not shooting in the dark, and my dreams are back from their sabbatical. Phew!

And I sincerely hope this helps you too.

I'd love to hear if you found value in this post! Your feedback will signal whether I should explore such topics further, bringing more sciency stuff as an insight into our brains & behaviors alongside the personal essays you've consistently enjoyed in this newsletter. :)

Until next Sunday,
Ishita
xx

P.S. If you enjoyed this dispatch, please click on the heart at the bottom or the top of this email. It helps others discover Masters Of Fate. And makes me super happy!

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The Art of Graceful Exit

Life Changing 8 Month Transformation

Purpose Circus

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